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Take a Deep Breath and Jump

Michelle Kozlak

I initially sat down to write this really ambitious article – chock-full of advice for a young professional on how to avoid burnout in their career. Then I had a reality check and thought: who am I kidding? I don’t know the first thing about how to avoid burnout. Until recently I was a workaholic that did not know how to say “no” to more work and new projects. How can I possibly give advice on how to balance a career and a personal life? So instead I decided to make the focus of this article about the one thing I have learned through my own inability to balance the two: never be afraid to make a change in your life – it may end up being one of the best decisions you will ever make.

For ten years I had a full-time job in arts administration - and loved every minute of it (well, maybe not every single moment, but I really did enjoy the work I was doing!) I was fortunate to be a part of many new productions, meet a variety of artists, work with many knowledgeable colleagues and learn a great deal. I worked long days and through many weekends. Then I had a baby and everything changed. When I went back to work after my maternity leave, I tried to continue working the same hours. I struggled to keep up with the pace that I had been maintaining before I became pregnant, and it just wasn’t working. I remember driving home one night after a show opened – it was probably the third or fourth night in a row that I missed my son’s bedtime and I was completely overwhelmed. I felt guilty when I worked late because I missed spending that time with my son. I felt guilty when I would decide not to stay late because I should be putting more time in on a project. I felt I just couldn’t win. I pulled over on the side of the road and just sat there crying in the front seat of the car, trying to pull myself together. I thought maybe I needed to step back and think about how I could make things better. After discussing it with my husband and lots of number crunching, I decided to take the plunge and quit my full-time job.

Although I felt I made the right decision, I was scared to death. I didn’t want to lose touch with the local theater community and I wanted to stay involved, especially in theater for young audiences. I was fortunate to be able to carve out a free-lance career which would allow me to work in the arts and spend that very necessary time with my son. I now work as a casting director here in town and pick up other small projects, some arts related, some not. So far it has been just the balance I need. It was a really tough decision to make. There are some days when I am petrified that I won’t be able to pick up another project or that I will miss being around lots of people all day long. But for the most part I consider it to be one of the best decisions I ever made - bringing me back to my initial point. I have seen many people over the years unhappy in their current work situation for a variety of reasons, and yet they are scared to make a change. While I am not advocating that everyone drop their current job or switch careers, I think we all need to figure out a way to find a balance in our lives. The change you make can be as small as going home on time at least one day a week, to as big as making a career change. Carving out time for yourself should not be considered a luxury, but a necessity. Not only does it make you a better person, but it also makes you a better employee. Since I left my job I am so much happier (and it is not because I have less work to do - in a way I actually feel like I have more!). I decided to make a change in my life that would not only be the best thing for my family, but also one that would be the best for me.

Michelle Kozlak is a freelance casting director and arts administrator in Washington, DC.Thanks to the NEXT Blog for this article - Topic - Burnout.

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